Saturday, March 31, 2012

The Last Day as a Baby

Tonight I will put a baby to bed and tomorrow morning I will have a one year old!  I really can't say where this last year has gone, it has been quite a ride!  For one final "wow" of this year, he said "mom" when I walked in to his room this morning when he woke up!

Notice the three bonks on his head, just in time for his birthday! He has been fearless about going in head first this week!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Sick Days

LWK has been home sick the last few days - his first bout of pink eye!  The nice part was that aside from a yucky eye, he is in good spirits!  He has done a couple of new things in the last few days.  The first is that he is starting to put the rings back on the ring tower, not just taking them off.  And he is starting to play WITH you - he like to roll his cars to you have have you roll them back.  So much fun!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Uh Oh!

So this is the first official word that LWK is using in context.  Not Mama, not Dada,  Uh Oh!  He had been parroting us back when we said Uh Oh, but we were in the living room tonight and he was in the kitchen opening and closing (slamming) the cabinet.   After every slam we heard "Uh Oh!"   

The Strawberries

LWK likes Strawberries!  They are a bit more tart that he is used to, so it made for fun photos.  But he kept eating them!
These are a pretty color!

But a bit tart!

I think I'll have another!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Separation Anxiety

LWK has always been a happy and social kid.  He never seemed to mind when I dropped him off at daycare - there were kids and toys to play with!  Until today.  I gave him to our wonderful provider and he got the bright red, ugly crying face!  I wasn't quite sure what to do besides tell him that I loved him and that I would be back at 2:45.  As soon as the door closed behind me, I burst into tears.  I was on the brink of crying for the rest of the day and lost it a few times (in the safety of my office).

All I could think about was that how hard it must be to be so little and want to be so big.  And to not understand that the person you are supposed to be able to trust the most is going to leave you (with very nice people who have fun toys, but still...).  And you don't understand time!  Some of the older kids at daycare understand time.  They like to tell me that their mom will be there with the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 4.  But poor LWK, he lives his life in 3 hours segments that involve food, playing and naps.

I was so happy to go pick him up.  Our provider said he cried for one minute and then was perfectly happy the rest of the day.  Obviously he wasn't at all scarred:

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Now We Really Need to Babyproof...

LWK figured out how to get up that first step.  Yes, it was 8 hours after my last post.  And about an hour since Dad told Grammie and Grampie that he wasn't trying to climb them yet, but was getting close.   It is all downhill (or is that uphill??) from here on out!


LWK has gotten super curious as of late.  Pulling up on everything, opening and closing drawers and cupboards, keeping mom and dad on their toes.....  He had a close call last week when he somehow managed to pull the small set of drawers that the phone sits in the kitchen on over.  It scared him (and mom and dad), but he was okay.  He is just a little more careful as he tries to open and close the drawers and hasn't tried to pull himself up on it since.

So instead of wrapping him in bubble wrap to keep him safe we have started the dreaded task of babyproofing.  I think we are going to leave those drawers alone, but J did put child latches on the doors under the kitchen sink and the island in the kitchen.  I actually took the baby gate out of the box, not sure where to put it yet, but it may find a home a few steps up out staircase since LWK is getting close to wanting to climb them!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

LWK got to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa while Mom and Dad got to have a romantic getaway at Salish Lodge!  Here is our cute little Danish/Norwegian/Scotch/Dutch/ dash of Irish boy on his first St. Patty's Day!  He had green Kale Puffs to celebrate!

In his patented "I'm a swimsuit model" pose.

Yep he is up to something!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

That Smile

We have been trying to get a photo of LWK's toothy grin, but he hasn't been cooperating until today!  You can see all five of those adorable chompers!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Being Supportive of Myself

In a few weeks, LWK will be one year old.  I have loved being a mom and getting to know this little boy.  However, there has been one thing I have struggled with since about his second day of life - being supportive of myself and my decision to ultimately formula feed him.

I have thought about how to write about this here, since I feel like it is pretty personal.  In no way do I want my friends and family who have been successful at breastfeeding to feel sorry for me or feel like the things they said to me were wrong or unsupportive.  We all were just doing the best we could at the time.

Today I wrote this message to a family member who may be switching to formula because her daughter seems to have a milk allergy.  Her Facebook post was turning into a debate of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding and I wanted to give her my support.  This is what I wrote:

"As a mom who super struggled with breastfeeding, know that whatever you decide is the exact right thing for your family. A happy, healthy mom results in a happy, healthy baby, no matter if she is nursed or formula fed. 

For the first 5 months we did a combination of formula, me pumping and LWK screaming whenever I tried to nurse him. When the school year started, I knew I couldn't do it anymore and we went full time formula. I wanted to have that bonding with him that you supposedly have when you nurse, but I don't feel like I am any less close to him when we give him a bottle, we rock and cuddle and I hold him close. He still held on to my fingers, touched my face and stroked my hair. AND J  got to have those experiences as well. 

My wonderful doctor assured me that those first few months in which he got a few ounces of breast milk a day gave him the immunities he needed early on before he started being vaccinated and being exposed to the real world. He will be one in a few weeks. Yes, he has had colds (more due to daycare than anything else). BUT, he has grown and flourished in the (almost) last year. Your daughter will be happy and healthy no matter what you decide to do. 

I completely understand that it isn't an easy decision and I still feel guilty that I couldn't do more that I did physically and mentally. Whatever anyone says, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for making a loving decision for your little girl. We new moms are just innundated with how we should do and be more for our children when we all just do the best we can with the greatest love we have."

Wow.  Why am I not this forgiving, understanding and supportive of myself?  I really struggled with the decision to formula feed LWK.  When he was diagnosed with jaundice in the hospital on his second day of life, I trusted that supplementing his with formula would help him get better faster.  That was the advice THE LACTATION CONSULTANT gave us!  Once LWK had a bottle, he didn't want anything to do with the real thing.  He would scream, cry and just be miserable.  And I was exhausted and just wanted him to get better so we could get out of the horrible hospital, so I gave in to the "evils" of formula.

What followed was 4 1/2 months of me being hooked up to a pump, feeling like Bessie and not spending time with my new family.  A pump isn't the same as a baby, so I was never able to produce enough to give LWK a full day's supply.  We visited a lactation consultant (where LWK nursed like a champ) but he never nursed like that again.  I drug that pump across North America on vacation.  I took herbs that made me smell like Maple Syrup.  I obsessed over every little drop of milk as I watched my supply tank at about 4 months.  I. Lost. Sooooooo. Much. Sleep.

In this world of "breast is best," where do I fit in?  Just that slogan makes me cringe.  It is so loaded with judgement, it makes me ill.  I look back on what a failure I felt like those first few months and how hard I tried to make it work.   I  still feel like I failed him because he wasn't nursed, I didn't do what was "best" for him.  I am looking forward to his first birthday because MAYBE people will stop asking me if I am nursing since my answer of "we tried" doesn't seem to satisfy the inquisitor. 

I worry that if he doesn't make it into the college of his choice or gets some disease, it will be my fault because I didn't give him "the best possible start."  But I look at him today and he is happy and healthy.  He is smart and right on track for his development.  He loves his mom and dad and doesn't seem to have ever met a stranger.  He is always smiling and happy!  I hope at some point I can let this go and know that I did the best I could at the time and that I can be as supportive of myself and my decision as I am of others.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Welcome Cousin James!

My sister had her second baby boy on Thursday, March 1st!  Although LWK and I had met James, he needed to meet to Uncle J!  We took over dinner and got to play and cuddle with the Keaton boys!  Welcome to the family James!

James with Uncle J

The adoring Aunt and Uncle!

The boys!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

11 Months Old

LWK, you are 11 months old today!  I can't believe that we will be celebrating his first birthday in one month.  Here are the stats for this month:

Weight:  19lbs, 10oz at last week's doctor's appointment

Height:  We are still going to go with 29 1/2 inches
Clothes:  12 month, although some of them are getting  bit short!

Diapers:  3s

Teeth:  5!  Shortly (as in, the next day) LWK's second top tooth came in.  He now has three on the bottom and two on top!

Sleeping:  Usually through the night (unless he is sick or teething) and two 1 - 2 hour long naps a day.

Eating:  4 - 5 six ounce bottles, three meals and one snack a day.  He is not a fan of the sippy cup - he wants to  drink out of a big boy cup!  He is also getting better at self feeding - bananas, Cheerios, toast, cheese.  When he is done, he likes to drop them off the side of his tray and listen for the plunk!  This month he tried flank steak for Aunt J's birthday, strawberries, toast and lima beans.

Movement:  Crawling FAST, pulling up on everything and starting to let go with one hand.  I think he will soon be cruising.

Toys:  He his musical table and cars.  He isn't so sure about his bath boat, I think he believes it should have wheels!  He also wants to open and close any door he finds.  The bathroom is a constant source of entertainment (especially the door stops).  Anything he can chew on is useful right now.

Vocalizations:  Added this month have been "mama" and "nana" to "dada," "baba," "gaga."

Cousins:  2!  Aunt J had baby James today, March 1st!  now LWK will have both Joel and James to play with at family gatherings!

The Cup

As you may have gathered, LWK is a bit stubborn.  Good natured, but stubborn.  We have been trying to get him to use a sippy cup since he was about 6 months old to no avail.  Sometimes he will drink a little out of it, but he usually throws it away.  A couple of weeks ago I  let him have a sip of water from a small cup and he was hooked.  Now he REALLY won't use a sippy cup, it's a big boy cup all the way much to Mom's chagrin and Grandma's glee!